This afternoon I was dancing around the living room, and was preparing to do a grande allegro jump (BIG jump) when I stumbled and rolled my foot completely outwards and slightly backwards. The pain shot up my leg and two large cracks resounded throughout the room. I cried out, unable to move and very near passing out. (I have a bad habit of that…You hurt me, I’ll scare you to death by going dead white and passing out. You’ve been warned.) I crawled on the couch, sobbing, as I thought of the possibilities a broken foot-or worse, an ankle- would mean to me as a ballerina. I sat there for probably 10 minutes, contemplating. My reaction went from sobbing to a peaceful countenance, and I even managed to look at my poor swollen foot. God blessed me with a peace that surpassed my understanding. (Really, I’m a wimp when it comes to injuries and other pains. If something hurts, I freak out.) I called my mom, who hurried home and took me to the ER. Thankfully, I was admitted immediately and several nurses were there to examine and give me some medicine to ease the pain. I had a large bump on the side of my foot, further down than the ankle. Pain was everywhere. Thankfully, ankle injury was eliminated as a possibility, and the biggest concern was a bone out of place, which was also ruled out by x-rays. The x-rays revealed that I had a small chip out of one of the bones at the top of my foot, and I probably bruised a large vein that runs up the side of the foot. (I couldn’t believe I had so much pain for that little thing!) All in all, I am perfectly okay and no need for anything but rest.
As I get off my feet for several weeks and allow my foot to heal, I will have a lot of dependence on the people around me. I hate being dependent. I always want to be independent of any help from anyone. Sometimes, I even avoid dependence on God. However painful this experience has and will be, I’m certain God had a lesson in mind for me: dependence on Him. I need to learn that there’s a reason people are in my life: they are there to help and guide me, not to burden me, and I’m not in their lives to be a burden to them. But most of all, I need to learn that my strength is not adequate. My strength is not adequate.
This verse really hit it home for me:
When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. ~Psalm 94:18-19
How awesome is that verse? It just happened to pop up on my Pinterest feed and my jaw fell to the floor. God works in such awesome ways to remind us that He’s there for us, and I only hope I pay close enough attention to see all the gems He lays out for me.